The Mermaid Nun

A woman of contrasts. My mother is a woman of contrasts- more on that later.
I am a mermaid of extremes and polarities.

Like going to SOUTH AMERICA with the idea of being pure in body, mind, thought and deed. 

Staying away from boys and keeping boys AWAY from me. 

SUR AMÉRICA
From where a significant proportion of the troublesome boys, of whom you may learn, come. Or failing that, their colonial forefathers in the Iberian Penisula. Starting from the very very first Spanish lisping Aesthetic Crush first time, to complicated Chilean hip hop recording artist who never spoke the same language, to the Brasileros who feature in the coming entries, like a earthquake through by last year in Australia. 

SUR AMÉRICA

Where you can’t walk down the street without being called Reina, Princesa, and Mi vida, Mi ciel. 

This is the epitome of what I wish to avoid. Machísmo. Being a number, an attempt, someone trying their luck again and again and again until someone falls for it. 

Una amiga told me once, “Todos los hombres son perros, pero les escondan. Solo differencia es que en Sur America, no les escondan.”

I am pretty, I am amazing, I am “ really…wow”[1] but don’t tell me so unless you have realized for yourself.

Yo soy una reina, una princesa, y la vida y la ciel de ALGÚN pero si tu no me conoces toadavía, no me lo digas. 

But why am I so committed to being assistant and chaste this year? How am I so sure I will succeed?  

Despite being told by good friends "if you went to a convent the nuns would kick you out"?[2]

Because this is what I need right now in my life. I need to know me better and not just withstand being alone but CELEBRATE it because it is wonderful to be in a long-standing relationship with yourself.

Meditation Retreat, Lamai Beach, Ko Samui,
Thailand.

To walk alone. To watch my life. To meet myself.

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[1] Txt message received after meeting someone one night and having a yarn about life, speaking in Fijian: “You are really wow”

[2] Estelle Thiebaut on my joining a nunnery