La Sirena on the Dance Floor

Strip club- because I did a term of Pole Dancing.

I can’t think of anything worse than being trapped on a bus, driving around with a crowd of university students emborracharse. Getting Drunk.

What’s worse is,

4. celebración día San valentin.

Como va a ser un día de amor y corazones y otras cosas mas......

solo se permitirá camisetas de color rojo y blanco.

Rojo: vas sin compromiso y a disfrutar como loco :)

Blanco: estas comprometido :( pero la pasas bueno X

Is this how you met people? Know people?

To be honest I don’t want to know people in this state.

So I’m going to save some time and colour coordinated outfits, because I am not an advertisement:

Ell's 21st. Girls Night.

I enjoy dancing like a wild bird and going crazy how I feel like shaking my body on the dance floor, sobre todo, con mis amigas. Onlookers, stay out of my business- don’t get in my way. Don’t grind your indiscrimate self all up in my grill as if I want you all over me like a hot flannel- PUHleeeeeeease.

Give a girl some space to break it down.

1)

I don’t salsa.

I won’t salsa.

I won’t salsa because I don’t enjoy myself doing Salsa so why should I waste precious time which is to be enjoyed. And I AM enjoying, just dancing like a loca and mixing every tribal world style. I won’t dance in pareja, don’t grab my hands don’t TOUCH my hips and stay even further away from me with YOURS. Gracias.

Mira, I love the music, I love the vibe, I love the atmosphere and I love OTHER people dancing in Salsa or whatever it may be- but I don’t need to be one of them. I am Kiki.

If you want to do something with me in pareja why don’t I teach you Muay Thai?

I don’t grab people and say Let’s Fight? I let them chill. I don’t just go around kicking people in the face (even though I could) and insisting they follow my steps because I can teach them and it will be fun and all of that- because maybe they won’t have fun in that game. I respect that. [1]

2)

I won’t make out with you

You can’t hold me nor touch me nor feel me. Get out of town!!

So you can just keep on trying your luck around the room because you don’t know me and you don’t want to know who I am. This is your loss and you’ll never be able to replace the joy that me being in your life would bring- lucky you’re so unaware.

Like, last night when I went out on the town with the amazing beautiful Spanish class I have from uni. All of us are so different and from all walks of ife. Probably if nothing like a class brought us together we may not be friends. That is why I LOOOOOVE that we are friends!! That we are our class! That is why it is so slack of our Profe to have not come out with us last night.

Espanol 5 PUJ

Meanwhile, so we went to have some drinks, some lollypops, and pretend to be meerkats when at the end of the night we ended up going to Andres D.C

$20 mil COP Colombian pesos later-

(Another thing is Entry- I’m not going to pay $$$$ to be contained on a bus!! Frankly I feel that they should be lucky to pay ME to attend their such fiestas. Even if no one realizes it, every one is crying out for a deadly combination of Kiki and their fiesta. Everywhere I go is fortunate to be in my company. )

Que Egoista! I don’t think so, because I don’t think I’m better than anybody else! I think that all of us should believe this about ourselves and it will serve our company more.

Everywhere you go is fortunate to have you. Don’t forget! Don’t be shy- Don’t hold anything back.

So we went in to the fabulously decorated and warm multilevel club. There was They can keep my $20.000 offensively extorted pesos. Maybe they need it to pay the clowns.

There were payosos, decorated and dancing around. One disturbingly came up to stand behind me until I noticed his unnerving presence. Another one came up to me and FIRST THING asked if I go to the gym- for my arms.

Wowee.

I didn’t realize it was that obvious. I have “heavenly arms”[2] which are defined and, OK, I admit it, sizeable.

Even Linn said she noticed from the first day she saw me that I was strong. I am a strong woman. In more ways than one.

This is a photo with John Lennon.
Check out the gun show- obviously not his.

But I do not go to the gym! I do not pump weights. I do not want random man coming up to me asking to swap exercise routines. Mate, I just LIVE and my muscles grow!! I don’t train, play sport, compete in team or anything- I just live my life, I am active, I have fun and my fun tends to be……physical.

Beach, flipping it on the sand, frolicking ocean madness, surfing and rockclimbing bouldering and Yoga.

In life day to day people aren’t usually take a lot of weight on to their arms. But we HAVE arms, use them, grow them, celebrate them, realize them-

Then maybe you too can be fortunate enough to have Payasos approach you to comment on how big they are.

So what if they’re big?? More to love.  My bones are solidly insulted.

Another obviously adorable characteristic about my womanly, vuluptous arms is that my veins provide easy I.V access [3] and when I give blood it just flows straight out- AND if I was in an emergency it means I would have a higher chance of survival because the paramedic/nurse/Dr would be able to start IV fluids or push a bolus medication dose quicker. And what is NOT sexy about that!!!!

On the D.Floor with my homegurl Jess. Swapping dressing with each of us in the group. Fun night with the girls 

So anyways, there we all were in Andres D.C having a whale of a time.  Migrating back and forth between the dancefloor and chilling at the bar, still dancing. Lorenz getting action like nobody’s business because he’s a strapping young German with blonde hair. The sweetest Korean girls, Sara and Valaria, having fans left right and centre!

And the Colombians amongst themselves making some ‘public displays of affection’ which may get the police called if in Australia.

Sometimes the dance floor was sooo llenisimo, sometimes we had our own space to move and break it down like wild birds. Linn, my Pocahontas is a fabulously amazing gorgeous dancer who can dance and dance and dance like a no regular Shawty. Shawty get down[4] and I not caring about whoever was seeing us and BEING with the music celebrating life.  At times we had heaps of space to ourselves. At other times we were being observed intently by a group of  three men who finally involved themselves in our dance group with the track of, none other than Macarena. Classic.

So the short man with the attractive face- who is a dog, like everyone, because I had seen him making his way around the Colombians and making out- made his way to do the Macarena with me.

Just not good enough, mate. Too little too late.

So I had pet/mascota for a while which came at a good timing because I had been dancing so much and working up a sweat that I had so much sed. I was so thirsty. I just took his drink to have the ice. It was ice with Ron[5]…and rum is a bit sickening, and especially when I never drink.

Anyways, what transpires in these dance floor conversations-

This-

A lot of being a mascota until they feel they’ve waited long enough to try and make out with you.

Also bullshit conversation- like "you should teach me how to dance like you".

Puhhhleeeeeeeease: here is your lesson- you wanna dance like me? You can’t because you’re not me. Class dismissed.

Of course, he didn’t want to dance like me- he wanted to have sex and I was the female with whom he was attempting at that point in time. This is the undertone of all conversations had in all clubs in all of the world.

Actually what we established through these conversations was that he is Venezuelan, I am Australian. Following questions included where I live.

‘in case for sharing a taxi.’ Sure, sure.

NONE of your business because you’re never gonna see it!  You’re never gonna make it there, champ.

I’ve got my girls and I will be making my way home as soon as my sisters feel like it- and you can do whatever you want with your life because I will never see you again because you don’t care to.

Argh! AND THIS is why gay bars are where you go to dance with your homegurls.

So, why I don’t drink is not because I’m Buddhist or Muslim or Hare Krishna or because I believe in anything. I’m not constricting myself. It’s because I never feel the need. I never feel inclined. I never feel motivated on spending money on this substance to ingest in to my body when it does nothing to serve me.

PLUS, this is me NORMALLY- could you imagine being drunk Kiki?

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attractive, attractive. Ducky Jumper from St vinnies Kids section.

[1] There is however the one time that I called the Colombian friend in Colombia, of one of my lovely friends in Sydney and por fin we met each other in Bogota and he invited our groups to come bowling. The Bowling Alley was in the Air Force compound and at their private alley, so when we all finished bowling we went to a trendy dimly lit karaoke bar with candlelight Shakira, classic Mexican lovesongs and Frida Kahlo posters and pretty pictures. When it became insisted to dance to the Salsa music, typically I didn’t want to. I’m good at other things. I don’t like doing things I’m not good at when I’m having fun not doing them anyways. So I may have conducted a minor lesson in a side kick for my dancing partner. Everyone watched on. Not sure this happens on a regular basis here in Colombia.

[2] Quote Eimear Elkington cerca 2009

[3] I said this once to a gorgeous patient when I was working at the hospital in Perth. She was very impressed with me at 18 and I always remember she said I “would grow well”. Bless.

But when I told her the physical feature I’m most proud of is not exotic eyes or tinted skin:  my cubicle fossa or brachial artery. She said,

“Well that’s not what the boys are going to like about you.”

 Little did she know.

[4] My gorgeous woman, Chilli- non English speaking background- once asked me to translate for her in to my on words what “Shawty get down” (from RnB songs signify). Could it be, “Young and vibrant woman, involve yourself in activities which you enjoy and maximize the fun you express”?

[5] Haha, I love that that’s how I see things. Ice with rum- not rum with ice.