I am a gypsy. I suck at packing. I just cannot get all my sh*t together for a future destination: possibly coming back to my inability to anticipate mere minutes in to the future
-Will I need pants? I take my toothbrush- Which bikini should I take?
And yet I have so many plans (which never transpire).
Maybe I'm going to live in Brazil, maybe I'm travelling to Cuba, maybe I'm going to work in Jamaica, Maybe I'll move to Spain, maybe I will be a construction worker and drive a crane.
My dreams whether they come to pass or not, are still a part of my personality. The only moment that is real is the present moment and all you can do, is to take one breath at a time.
So I have lived in many places and in many scenarios including: in student residence; with 8-10 other people in a sharehouse of students and young professionals; in a house which only appeal was being close to my Yoga studio and numerous disadvantages being populated with un house trained innumerable poodles and their dirty puppies, smelling of un house trained innumerable poodles and their dirty puppies, landlord having either an mental illness OR mental retardation and he and someone similarly simple living there; to houses in the leafy lower north shore with my soul sister her partner and their baby; living as an au pair with a religious Jewish family featuring home clinic of Acupuncture and Naturpathy in the trendy Eastern Suburbs Bondi while completing my final semester of university studies in the jungle of Kuring Gai; to living out of a backpack and sleeping in hammocks; to living in a Thai Buddhist monastery, to living in a villa in Thailand with a Russian family; to living in Art Gallery/Cafe on an Island in the Torres Strait; to living with my then boyfriend always love of my life after having known each other a month.
I am my home. They say that Home is Where The Heart Is, but for me
My heart is my home.
Here in Colombia I have been so beautifully received by so many. The Colombians have their hearts open and their hearts are in their homes. It is so much more family related here, so very different, but I feel at home.
When I left Sydney and made my way up the East Coast of Australia to Byron, and stayed in the house of a dear soul sister I met in the ocean years earlier, and then Brisbane and Cairns- I had everything with me I was going to take to South America. Everything on my back. I arrived at Cairns on a Thursday after 30 hours on a bus, without any means of getting to the top Cape of Queensland (through 4WD territory
and in Wet Season, nor with any money to pay a ticket) Of course, as everything works out as it is supposed to, I did get to start work on that Monday in Thursday Island (Blessed be) thanks to an interview I made it to, rushing my goodbyes with my family, to arrive on time to ask for $500 as I was taking a rural and remote student placement- literally before I caught a train out of Sydney and off on my way. The news came by email when I arrived in Cairns that they granted me $1,000. :D
I met a group of travelling circus artists and fire twirlers (as you do) in the pool in the esplanade. They were talking to a French Carribean friend who I met in a park in Byron Bay. They were daring each other to talk to strangers and Suki had dared Matt to talk to Jamal about meditation.
"It's good for you too," she defends the dare game, "because it breaks down our judgments and preconceptions of people. Like you think that the platinum blonde won't want to hear about meditation because she's walking in the pool, not getting her hair wet..."
But this blonde hair sheltering co patriot listened to Matt and they sat in meditation. She said she liked it!
So it was Matt and Suki who I met and who told me that I had a peaceful energy to be in. Matt said,
"it's like, you know when you've been travelling for a really long time, and you arrive in somebody's house. You are like being in a living room of a real house"
The below is a beautiful letter from a dear friend, what warranted this response was a letter I handwrote and personally delivered for this amiga to read on the plane on her way back home. First, I explain what I said to her.
I said she is like walking in to somebody's living room after you've been travelling for a long time. It is beautiful to have an energy that draws people in and comforts them. There is something so reassuring about the feeling of being in a place lived in and cared for, and something comforting about being with someone who cares and lives. My friend is that to me. She gives me rest to be myself, support and assurance, guidance and care. She is warm and inviting, welcoming and familiar. She is my friend forever.
Kiki!!
So, this is for you: You know that I really like you and that I'm glad we met and that I'll always be there for you. You're a wonderful person who fills the atmosphere around her with joy. You said I was the first one to invite you. I can't imagine our group without you and I doubt that it would have been that much fun. With your
crazy, caring and loving way of being, you connect all the people around you.
I know you know that you're special and you told me that some people think you're arrogant for that. I know you are not and I know it's better to like oneself than to only see the bad side.
I love reading your blog and you taught me some worthy stuff. I'm also a person who's always thinking a lot and I'm trying to understand the world and it's a pleasure to read your thoughts.
Once, you were asking if we really fall in love with some people or if we're just looking for an excuse to love someone. That really touched me because I think I know what you mean and I think that is absolutely what I am doing sometimes. It's nice to have someone you can be attracted to but sometimes it's just because there's no one else and because you have so much love to give.
I guess that
sometimes we just want to feel that way and we project all our wishes on one person even though this person might not be the right one. It's just really hard sometimes to figure out what I want and what I don't want. All the circumstances and situations that affect our behaviour and feelings change and so do our own ideas of our life.
Just for you to know: You're a special one and you have the gift to connect people, the gift to spread joy and laughter. Keep that and never give it away. I'm glad you added all that to our group and I hope you will add more of that to my life.
Thanks for being you and not anyone else!
Besos y abrazos a Bogotá