Lessons Learnt from Abuelitas

Blessings

de Kiki Lychee Hawai'i, el lunes, 14 de mayo de 2012 a la(s) 13:02

Hello friends, 

I just had to express the feeling in my heart because being as swelled as it is, there needs to be some sharing.I hope it reminds you of how expansive and beautiful your life is.

To be where I am, in my life is a privilege.

 To see what I've seen, to met who I've met, to know whom I know- I don't know what I've done in some past life to deserve this much richness. 

Nursing

I worked at a hospital when I was 18, I met people and patients who changed my life forever. I grew up. I loved. I got hurt and broken forever. I got stronger than I thought was possible. 

Tonight I had a random flashback- it was of an old lady. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking out the window to the garden sitting quietly alone. I sat next to her and asked her what she was thinking. 

The lady said she supposed people were never happy with what they have, oh no, they'll never be happy- they always want more. How true she was. She had dementia and didn't know where she was, who I was, even who her family were. But she sat on the edge of her bed, looking out the window, contemplating life...and I got a beautiful honour to sit by her side and share her company for a while. 

I don't remember her name, but I remember her holding my hands and smiling at me. And telling me Oh no, people are never happy with what they have.

She has stayed somewhere in my subconscious and I remembered her words tonight.

One lady who never left my mind is the most beautiful woman from the Kimberley region, in remote Western Australia who was so young and flown in with a neurological accident. 

This left the young, Aboriginal lady with expressive dysphasia and she could only make ma ma ma sounds when she thought she was speaking what was in her head. She had no problem with comprehension but when she went to speak, she was not able to form words. It was so disempowering and completely foreign to her, out of her environment and with such a frustrating consequence. 

I will never forget her. 

She let me sit next to her and we talked at length, communicating even though she couldn't make words. 

Speaking without words. 

From two different worlds. 

She was amazingly, strong, patient, resilient, unbelievable. 

I think she might have been Jesus. 

We had jokes, and conversations and lullabies and songs.

She held my hand to stay by her bed one night and she sang, I echoed it back to her in songs, in the sounds she was making. She couldn't hear the sounds as she thought she was saying outloud what was in her head. It was the most profoundly beautiful song created by us. 

There was another old lady who was a "difficult" patient. When she moved on from our ward and was transferred, all her belongings were packed in two brown paper bags. I asked her if she was ready to leave us and she pointed to her possessions in these two bags. There's my life. From then on I dreamt of having a life LIVED enough to contain all my worldly materials in no more than two paper bags.

Sometimes I like to think about how your experiences, your travels, and your interactions become you. I am everything I am going to be. It's not in a degree, it's not in a house, it's not in a family I make- it's something that IS me and therefore I can never lose it. Every single moment creates who you are- feel string because no matter where in the world you are, no matter with whom, you are always going to be fine. You have everything you need. you are everything you need. You are the style of clothes you wear, or the accent with which you speak, or the troubles or struggle you have, nor the successes and accomplishment. You are constant, changing, evolving, growing, and being. 

I think of the wonderful elderly patients I get to learn from, and never forget that they were YOUNG, strong, handsome/beautiful, sensual, motivated, ambitious and vibrant. All they did was get old. They have all my respect in the world and I don't know why I'm so lucky as to be honoured to be around such wisdom and lives lived in contribution.